Masked man

 The world praised 
The one face they knew.
Under your sincere smile
Lay another terrible you!

Of pandering,
Of weakening,
All done in the name of
Collective strengthening.

You died a martyr!
I wish you had lived long
Enough to see your mask torn by
The ramifications of your wrong.

Were you misguided?
Or was this premeditated?
Unsolved, this will keep us,
Ignorant, though educated.

A mind full of solitude

Oh mind, thee doth wander alone!
Of company you have no care.
Of spirited conversations, with
Maidens, petite and fair.

Joyful is thy nature.
In Solitude or in company.
Ruminations, recollections and
Observations so many!

The sun dancing on my face.
A smile twinkling in my eyes.
Oh mind, you make me joyful -
Alone, Awake and wise.

I have no clue on how to name this.

If there was a situation,

I chose to smile.

Happy, sad - it didn't matter.

For it would only last a while.

When The unknowns bother me, or

Any conflicts - anxiety I cannot control.

Times my brain didn't understand what to do.

That I shouldn't seem weak, was my goal,

It is ok my love; you can cry!

You can show anger, or disappointment.

My dear little heart, you don't have to smile.

Happiness is not the only thing present.

smile is not just a smile, many times

It is a mask, hiding the real you and me.

But unless I choose to trust my heart

A smile is all you shall see.

Too much Thinking

For all the problems I have, I have only one solution. To think and to think and over think it. A simple problem escalates into a national urgency in my mind, which only Modi ji has to solve. I over think to not think, defeating the purpose I started to think. An ode to my over-thinking-ness.

An extra hard-worker -
I have in my mind.
To  overthink the situation
What joy do you find?

you love, you hate
Just calm you can't be.
You hold every argument
You fight against me

I am never truly alone, with
This voice inside my head
It has made me smile and frown
With things it has said

I love you, and hate you
I wish you remain quiet
Yet I know you are waiting
To stir up another riot.

I once had a boat

Cross posted from my other blog:

I once had a boat.

My only friend and solace.

It gently rocked me to sleep

Cool breeze on my face.

I shared with it my best days

And so many evenings alone.

I never did row, stay put.

Many ways it felt home.

The boat wanted to leave shore

Adventure was its call.

Float in the deep blue ocean

Or watching waves crash tall.

When another sailor came by

It set out for the seas.

With a heavy heart, I bade goodbye

The anchors I did release.

It is never coming back, I know.

It will never be my home again.

Yet I gaze at the horizon wondering;

Why the heart hopes in vain!

Too many dreams!

Nostalgic about something that never happened . . .

Walking through the breeze on calm evening holding the hands
I wish could hold once
I'm nostalgic about something that never happened

Feeling the touch I never felt
Still looking into the deep eyes I've never seen
I'm nostalgic about something that never happened

Feeling the pain of separation from
Someone I never knew
I'm nostalgic about something that never happened

Feeling her scent in every bit of me
and yet craving to smell it once in life
I'm nostalgic about something that never happened

Anticipating her response to a proposal
I never made
I'm nostalgic about something that never happened

Trying to forget something I never wanted to
Holding the breath, I had never taken
I'm nostalgic about something that never happened . . .

He is

This is a poem that i scribbled recently. Or rather it was a catharsis of what i felt. Whatever we are, where ever we are... its because of the one person who loves us. And loves us more than anyone else in this world does. That is why he is perhaps considered out of world. He is our creator, protector and destroyer. He is God. My poem says 'He is'. but personally God is beyond all the divisions that divide any normal mortal.... caste creed gender colour. He has only one form... Love. Inspired by Frost

He is...

He is the breeze from faraway land
He is the miracle in every grain of sand.
He is the softness in a flower
He is the infinite in the hour

He is the smile of an innocent child
He is the roar of the wild
He is the love that blooms
He is the ray eradicating the gloom

He is the life in all my deeds
He is the only ear that pays heed
He is the hymn, he is the praise
He is the Lord of infinite grace.

For how long?

Of late i am posting serious blogs instead of usual crappy stuff... But i like it this way

The news of Nawab of Pataudi being issued a warrant for being in possession of the buck brought back not so fond memories of Salman Khan inicident. This time the former captain of india and 5 other people were found to be in the possession of 2 shooting rifles and a dead body of a buck, which is legally punishable offense. All this in the heart of a wild life sanctuary. This has forced us to relook at the wildlife sanctuaries and the importance that we give towards nature conservation.
I know its a serious topic, some think its a boring one, when compared to the listening to songs of Bunty and bubli. But i urge u to spend time atleast reading it. That the least you can do to this burning issue.
When we ask someone to name the top 10 crisis in the world right now... all we could think of will be unemployment, corruption, demoralization of the youth etc etc. Where will the depletiong natural resources and the unbalanced ecology be, surely will not figure in any list. A few days agao, not even mine.
Until i read about the Sariska shock, which i had experienced myself. Sariska is a tiger reserve in Rajastan. In 2001 we had visited. It boasted of having around 24 tigers, but not one we could see. We cursed our luck and returned. This sunday we read an article that shocked me. A reserve that was supposed to contain 24 tigers now contains almost none! It was a number created artificially on paper and for once their bluff was called off.
Despite being home to many endangered species, we have not been able to curb the indiscriminate proliferation of poachers. Black bucks, tigers , elephants, crocodiles, turtles, shatoosh deers the list goes on and on. What hits hard is that the idea of killing these animals is not survival. We dont eat their meat for living. It is lowly for ornamental purposes. It is so frustrating when i think about it... Thousands of elephants killed for tusks, tigers for skin and deers for hides. All in our so called natural reserves.
Salman Khan killed a black buck and it became a big issue for sometime... People slandering at him etc etc. But he still roams scot free. The indian legal system is still in its nacent phase as far as wildlife protection acts are concerned. More than legislations, in this regard, wide spread awareness is the real cure. On that front the government is not doing much. Probably thats why people like us, individuals have to weild the pen ( or keyboard) in an attempt to spread the word.
Poachers are not people who use these animal hides and tusks... it is educated and well off people like any of us who can afford to buy them. That is why my writeup is in this site. Even if one of u uses illegal animal products, i appeal to u not to buy any. The tigers have as much rights to live on this earth as much as our children. And they dont even look good on humans :)
I have written this when i was really frustrated with the selfishness of man. So forgive my sentimentalism. But hope u get the crux here.
Man need to co-exist with the other inmates of the planet, and not treat them like ornaments. Do what u can in small measures to protect our ecology
For what goes up, comes down

Are there too much restrictions on Indian cinema? Or do we need to impose more?

One topic that has been burning at many places, and sometimes sadly too literally. The recent bomb blasts at the liberty cinema halls at the showing of the film "Jo Bole So Nihaal" stands out for the fact. that some kind of cinema, which provokes or hurts peoples emotions can lead them to do disastrous acts. Terrorism or no terrorism - the truth remains that innocent people were killed, in their attempt to put forth a point.

Showing smoking on screen has been banned by the parliment. A step forward or backward for Indian cinema? Thats the question on many minds. While the people for the ban argue tat the silver screen glorifies the act of smoking, thus encouraging young people to look at smoking as an act to look "cool". The people against the ban ( argueably tobacco manufacturers, who now longer will not getthose star endorsements) feel that people dont take up to smoking when the see it. Whats the dig of the common man on it?

Super star chucked his cigaratte to give in for the bubble-gum in chandramukhi. A great decision indeed!! with every other kid on the streets of tamilnadu trying to emulate 'Namma superstar', it is a matter of concern if the * introduction is in surrounded by cigar smoke. Well if u cant do any good, the next best option is not to cause any harm. This basic tenet is wat CM has tried and is seeing results comming in thru box fulls of cash @ box office.

And there in Bollywood is the changing trend of 'Item' number being all the more important than the actual film itself. "Mahesh Bhatt" - the leader of the Bhatt campagian who feel it is in their hands to liberalise Indian minds and bring it on par with the world. Churning out Murders and other flicks by the dozen. Picking up every other actress in the filmdom... Wow, they've extended it to the neighbouring countries as well. Thats what is called 'neighborhood bonding'. And their only mantra is that they've got to get the indian audience watch their films in this highly competitive market. And accept it guys.... Crap sells, we might love it or hate it but never never ignore a bhatt flick. Most of us just dont want to.

The truth sadly as accepted by most of the film makers is that there is too much mediocrity in th e whole film industry. They have a hit, and they keep dishing out either family melodramas or titilating soft porn, romatic triangular love stories or gruesome horror. And we all spend the result of the nightouts and mindbreaking queries watching total crap that is so volatile that it evaporates once we are out of the cinema halls. Hullo... I spend the amount close to one good shirt on a film in which the heroine barely wears 1 metre of dress??

The more we watch, the more successful the film is. And the film makers will keep dishing out those Kya Kool Hain Hums by the day. We will watch that too. A vicious loop. And our taste will reach such an abysmally low levels that we shall lose the ability to discern the difference between the moral and the immoral. The normal and the kinky. The sensible and the trash. All shall be the same.
For man is what he enjoys doing the most....

Television is not spared either
No i am not blaming films only. The television too has its own share to be blamed. Women are potrayed to be either the perfect incarnationof Saraswati and Parvati rolled into one, or the scheming vamps who have no reason to hate anyone, but still spit venom at the protogoanist. If not these two classes then she has to be this nubile woman bearing the brunt of the wrath of her in-laws. Where do we fit into the whole scheme? A normal lady/man?? There is no place for you and me in this muddle of characters. Coz our stories will not get the eyeballs stuck to the screen. Many of these soap operas start off on a different note - a unique story line that gets them all the TRPs. And once they do, they fall into the same trap. Love, extramarital affair, inlaws, outlaws, death of te main character followed by ressurection due to 'popular demand', the recent trend being makeovers.
And this is one trend that has cross lingual impact. If is Kyunki... in hindi, then it is Metti Oli in Tamil. Sure all the languages have their counterparts of saas- bahu serials. On the positive note, these serials have demonstrated one thing - boys can cry. Everyone in a serial 'has' to cry.
I beg for something different. I yearn to watch sense ( or nonsensical comedy will do). Something that does not make us irritated when we see gallons of salt water tsunamis in the eyes of the lead characters. Thats why Takeshi's castle or just for laughs in POGO is much better than prime time. No Sun, Star or anything out of the earth. Let me just remain on earth, with my legs firmly planted on the ground.

I dint wanna blog

My cellphone beside me, silent. Everything is quiet except my sidee's comp which has such a noisy CPU that we call it the 'maavu mill' . Wish the same traquility was there inside myself... sadly thats why i am here I am blogging... coz there is just too much on my mind to be handled by one person.

So long since I landed in chennai... 7 months since our training got over. We are grown up people :(
On Retrospection, there are many foot prints beside mine... Some leading towards me, many going far apart. This year has been such tumultuous as far as relationships are concerned. Friends, family and many other undefinable ones... Not handling it well enuf for an adult....(I hate it but yes, u cant remain a kid for long).

Loads of people whom i left back at BITS, havent seen them. But yet their stories are a part of our everyday laccha...
Some songs that remind me of time spent with someone...
Or that fun in the wing,
that spontaneous jig that me and vidhya do,
chottu bhaiiya's maggi, pratap bhaiyya's smile :), the indefatigable chimpu,
"KIRAN gate pe aao", guys desparate for an entry in MB,
that bee-hive in our 2nd year, first year MB nite,
walking on the ram-budh road and those blessings,
rushing for slots in S9,
IPC Qs and waiting for an hour 2 c 'that' mail,
waiting for dept work,
the sight of the mandir from fd2-fd3 corridor,
walking down from c'not,
cheering loyola during BOSM :),
waiting for RAF movies and the excitement,
CCPing the project reports,
how we plan for the next year apogee/oasis before this one is over, a
ttending a prof because well.... (u know why),
making a brave face after that dismal CG card,
laughing out our sorrows, throwing away anger after a few minutes....

All these memories come flooding because of the lovely people associated with them. And how many of them have i lost touch with since passing out.
If anyone of u is reading this, All i have to say..."I Love u. Thanks for being there. Do mail me asap if we havent kept in touch."

Finally i am blogging after joining Infosys.
Never thought i would join a Software company out of all things.
But then life always takes you where you never wanna be
and makes sure you have a nice time.
Not about the campus, not about the facilities...there is something in the whole atmosphere
that makes me feel belonged. Deja vu, as they call it.
Missing BITS...not exactly, with nearly 150 of our batchies oncampus here it doesnt seem too far away from our almamater. The same greenery around, silence broken by vociferous us :)

On a personal front i am trying to mature as a person, or precisely as a woman of 22. Ok dont smile...i am really making a sincere effort.
Mature, patient, composed and calm...words that were never used to describe me. (rather were used as antonyms) But then do i really need to metamorph or are grown ups like me too...?? and probarbly like many of you. Unanswered questions are many about how adults are supposed to behave which are bouncersfor adults themselves. So a budding adult like me would be a wrong person to consult.

Back home....Did the last journey as BITSians, in the second-class,
vociferously yelling, and being a nuisance to co-travellers.

Yipee!!!!! I went to see Yuva yesterday in Santham ( i know thats late) with a friend of mine... Giggling throughout the serious
movie,much to the chagrin of our co-viewers.
and guess what..our seat number won a surprise gift.. Well as luck always is never on my side in these raffles,i was obviously
excited to having 'won' something (well thanks to D12!!!). So we went out and asked these fellows clad in yellow abt all these suprise things.

He obviously gave us an 'Alpame....!' look and told us that we had
won 1000 RS voucher for (hold ur breadth) Globus diamond jewellery.
We conveniently chose not to hear the last two words....and we were
discussing how to spend it, when the guy offered an extra voucher, seems he had quite to give away..(time for us to give him the D-look ha ha ha)

But Phukat things, how can a BITSian refuse...despite it being an utter waste, we took it from him. Now dont know what 'Diamond Jewellery' to buy...My mother had this wierd brain storm of getting jewellery for my marriage!

Oh my god!!!! Have to hide the voucher somewhere, lest my mother harbour any weird ideas.

My final seminar over. Final report tomorrow. Life has come a full circle for all of us, just passing out of college. With BITS being a dream, then a reality and now it’s back to being a dream again.

I still can feel all my senses perked up when I think of that little cozy haven. Can still feel the crisp morning air, on my way to insti, can see the lovely flowers hanging in C-lawns, hearing the cacophony of crows the air smelling of the damp fog….look up to the clock tower which never showed the right time in all these 4 years

blogging

This has been a habit of mine...and many of you out there too. Created this blog space a long time back. Took all the coaxing of Sang to start actually using it. And till then i had forgotten the account password. I still wonder how i still remembered the username.
Who found out that 'forgot password' option must be blessed...a hundred times over. vitually an account in any and every site i visit, never to come back to it...there should be a 'forgot username, password and sometimes even website' option...:)

Etymology

Etymology of Geometry Terms

What a way to study geometry...!!

Etymology has got me hooked man! just started as a part of one of the many things that i tried doing. But seriously this stuff is turning into a great passion...Latin and Greek worlds!
the funda lies in cracking the code; and once you do it, any word (even the ones that a really nutty teacher used to use) become easily crackable.

Lord's creation

Thoughts come to man faster than anything...and they leave at the same speed. So i guess a blog is the best way to keep track of my thougts...So welcome to my private space...
Have a sneak preview into how the mind of mine works...a really rare opportunity.